


All that Matters

by 31lostie13



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, LIKE A LOT OF ANGST, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2017-11-12
Packaged: 2019-02-01 12:28:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12705000
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/31lostie13/pseuds/31lostie13
Summary: Alternate Ending for 4x11Want to read something depressing? Please click on the title.





	All that Matters

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I'm just glad the writers went with another version than this.

“But I promise you there is nothing but more pain on the other side of that radio.”

 

“We can’t just let them die!”  
“We will all die if we open the door. Abby, it’s already decided, like it or not, we’re all that remains of the human race now. Otherwise everything we’ve been through was for nothing.”  
She was tired. Fighting him was useless. He remained to be an idiot. She couldn’t change the fact that thousands of people would die above her, one of them the man she loved. It was ridiculous, there were so many empty spots down here, they would remain empty and for what? For Skaikru to survive. No, not every one of them was here, not him. It wouldn’t be Skaikru who would survive Praimfaya. It would be the traitors who broke the rules, who didn’t believe in one of their own, who let two of their own people die, who betrayed everyone. Clarke entered, behind her Bellamy, still tied up and carried by two guards.  
“Clarke, what is this?”  
Abby avoided to look at her daughter who had to explain Bellamy’s presence to Jaha. Instead she looked at Bellamy and saw his face, he showed no emotion, the only thing hinting how he felt was the dried track of a tear on his left cheek. She knew what that meant. He had been unsuccessful with Clarke as well. She looked at her daughter who didn’t dare to look back, her eyes were still looking at the man who was currently killing thousands of people. No, she was too.  
“We’re letting them say goodbye. We owe them that.”  
That was too much. ‘We owe them that.’ They owe them to open the door, to let more people in, to save them. How could her daughter do something like this? When did she become the same person she fought against on the ark? She was so angry, at Thelonious, at Clarke, at herself. She should have seen it coming. Without thinking about consequences, she made a fast step towards the new chancellors. She didn’t even know what she had wanted to do but two hands grabbed her from behind anyway, pulled her back and didn’t let go.  
“You can’t do this! You can’t just let them die out there!”  
Her eyes filled with tears as she still fought against the hands which hold her tighter with every move she made. Thelonious looked down for a moment, probably thinking about locking her away until the world would end again. Clarke must have thought about this too because she started to talk to him again.  
“We have to let them say goodbye.”  
He looked up and nodded.   
“Release them.”  
Clarke laid down the radio on the table as he walked towards Abby.  
“Take your time.”  
That was when she lost it. The guard behind her couldn’t react as fast as her fist did. She hit him right in the face, blood was running out of his nose. He raised his hand to tell the guard he shouldn’t touch her. A second later, he stood up straight and left the room without saying another word. She looked around at Clarke who wanted to pass them. Abby took a step to the side and cut her way off.   
“I hope you can live with this.”  
She took a step back to let her leave, a tear running down Clarke’s face. The room was empty now, just Bellamy and Abby were still standing at their spots. That was when she realized he hadn’t said a word. Their looks crossed and she knew he had already given everything he had. He was done fighting just like she was now. She looked at the radio. This was it. This was her last chance to talk to the man she would lose within the next hour. No, she had already lost him.

-

Bellamy took the radio as Abby went to his side. The first thing they heard was the hissing of the radio. She watched him changing the frequency as the noise suddenly stopped. Both stopped breathing for a second. As nothing as silence filled the room, Bellamy started speaking.  
“Here is Bellamy. O, can you hear me?”  
Both watched the radio until the click on the other side filled their room with noises.

\---

They had betrayed them all. Trikru, Azgeda, all of them. He knew why they had done it and he knew who. But he couldn’t understand how they could do something like this as they had come so far on earth. They had broken the rules and he had never been a man of untruthfulness. With just minutes left to breathe, he didn’t know what else to do than thinking about how he could’ve prevented this. How he could’ve saved hundreds of lives by just listening to Thelonious’ words right before the conclave. He should have known this would happen. He should have stopped them.  
“Don’t you deserve to think about something else than the betrayal of these people? Come, sit with us.”  
He looked up, right into Indra’s eyes. She nodded towards Octavia and Gaia, both sitting right next to the door. Almost everyone else had left a few hours ago, right after Octavia had to tell them that she couldn’t keep her promise of becoming one clan. There was no ‘ogeda’ anymore, it got destroyed when Skaikru had locked the door from inside. His people. It had been his responsibility to keep this from happening and he had failed. Almost every grounder had left the tower, they wanted to spend their left time with their loved ones. Wouldn’t be everyone dead within the next hour anyway, Octavia and himself wouldn’t be alive anymore. But this would have been too easy. It was way harder to sit here and just wait. Wait for the death wave to hit.  
“Kane, come on.”  
Her hand touched his shoulder and he stood up. He didn’t want to, but his body didn’t listen to him anymore. He crossed the room with her and sat down next to Octavia. As their eyes met for a second, she smiled sadly. She was thinking about them too. About Bellamy. Just like he was thinking about Abby.

-

They sat there in silence, the last people who would see Polis as the center of a culture which would die from one moment to another, who would die with the green colors of life deep in the woods, who would die among the screams of pain. He could already see the red stripes settle down on their skin, not only on the four sitting next to the door but also on the faces of the seven others who had stayed. They sat next to the exit, divided into two groups, in silence. Somehow, this silence was the last comfort they would get. There was nothing left to say anyway, there was no need to waste their left energy. Everyone was floating away in their own thoughts but within the presence of their close ones. He had always thought Abby would be the person he would spend his last hours with, but she was safe now and he couldn’t be more grateful. She was safe, that was all that mattered.  
“You think he-?”  
She had stopped in the middle of her question, but he already knew what she was thinking about. He looked up and met her stare.  
“Yes, he knows.”  
“It’s just- I didn’t say what I wanted to say and now...”  
“Octavia.”  
He placed his hand on her shoulder.  
“Trust me, he knows. He knows.”  
She looked down and nodded. Indra tried not to look at them, but he felt Gaia’s stare. He hadn’t had the time to get to know her but from what he had seen, Indra and her daughter were more alike than she thought they were. He put down his hand and knew Indra was staring now as well. He didn’t know if they were expecting him to say something, but it was kind of uncomfortable like this. He looked up and asked right away.  
“What is it?”  
Indra smiled slightly and started talking.  
“You know, I didn’t like you at first. But I am glad things turned around. You are a good man, Kane.”  
He had to laugh as he hadn’t thought she would be thinking of their first encounter. But he was glad she did as some things had to be said before the darkness would consume them all.  
“I couldn’t have asked for any better friend than you, Indra.”  
She nodded. Gaia and Octavia were watching them staring at each other for a moment before the silence took them again. They all looked terrible, red stripes everywhere. It was like everyone would crumble into dust.

-

All three looked up as Gaia started to cough. She had covered her mouth with the hand she lowered down into her lap. The red spot in her hand got the attention of all three of them. Indra’s worried gaze went from Gaia’s hand to her eyes. She laid her hand around her daughter’s shoulder and she accepted her mother’s comfort. Seeing your daughter die, her dying body lying in your hands – no parent should have to go through that. But this wouldn’t matter, all of them would be dead by daybreak anyway.  
“Here is Bellamy. O, can you hear me?”  
For a moment, the clock stopped ticking. The death wave didn’t move, the soon dead people held their breath, the silence had been filled with the echo of Bellamy’s voice. O grabbed the radio.  
“Bellamy?”

-

His sister’s voice filled the room. Abby lifted her head and her eyes were sparkling. They were filled with hope. She moved closer to Bellamy and started speaking.  
“Octavia, is Marcus-”  
She didn’t dare to ask what she intended to do, so she stopped herself. What if he wasn’t there? What if he was gone? But her doubts got destroyed by his soothing voice.  
“Abby? Abby, are you okay?”  
She closed her eyes, a tear was trying to escape her eye. He was alive. He was out there, dying and all he could ask was if she was okay. She felt a strong hand lying down on her arm. As she looked up, Bellamy’s eyes met hers. He understood.  
“Yes, I’m fine. Marcus, I’m- I’m sorry.”  
“Don’t be. It’s not your fault. Neither of you is responsible for what happened.”  
Bellamy just stared at the radio. They had to tell them. They owed them that.  
“We can’t let you in. They won’t let us.”

-

“I know.”  
With even the slightest glim of hope gone, they sat there, knowing it was over. Nobody would come and save them. He never really thought someone would, but you could still have hope until it was over. He had learned that from the bravest, most loving and smartest woman he would ever see. The woman he would love until he’d take his last breath.  
“Bell?”  
Octavia was looking at the radio, hesitating. He stretched out his arm and laid his hand on top of hers. She looked him in the eyes and he nodded reassuringly.  
“I want you to know- you’re the best brother I could’ve asked for. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I never told you this before. I wish I could tell you this in person but- I love you, big brother.”  
Tears were running down her cheeks and he moved a little closer. She hesitated for a moment, pondering what to do. She decided to go for it, leaned on his shoulder like Gaia and Indra were sitting. Blood not always defined who was part of your family.  
“I love you too, little sister. You don’t have to be sorry for anything.”  
They were interrupted by Gaia, who started to cough again. This time, she didn’t stop. Indra was holding her in her arms, whispering something he couldn’t understand. With every new second it got worse, she couldn’t breathe, blood was running out of her mouth. Indra was hunched over her daughter and in Gaia’s last moment, his friend couldn’t hold back a tear. Octavia winced in his arm and he immediately hold her closer. It was a reflex, but both didn’t mind. Indra closed her daughter’s eyes and stared at the body in her hands.

-

They had heard her die. Gaia was dead. On the other side of the radio, Abby and Bellamy didn’t dare to make a sound. They had heard Indra saying her name and after that- she was dead. And so would soon be the rest above them.  
“Abby?”  
She grabbed the radio. This would be the closest she would ever get to him again. This radio was their last chance to say goodbye.  
“I'm here. Marcus, you have to know I’ve tried. I’ve tried-”  
“I know. We know neither of you agreed to this. And Abby?”  
She had to fight against her tears which wanted to spill over. This was it. This was the end. She swallowed and tried to respond with her shaky voice.  
“Yes?”  
“I love you. Abby, I love you and I hope you won’t forget me.”  
This was too much. Within a second she started crying, she couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down her face. She had never thought she would be in this situation again. But here she was, losing the man she loved.  
“I love you too, Marcus. And I will never forget you. He will pay for this.”  
“Abby, please. Don’t do anything stupid. Don’t put yourself in danger, they can’t lose you. Promise me Abby.”  
She took a deep breath. She had to keep herself together. For him.  
“I- I promise.”  
She heard her coughing and then the radio went silent again.

-

Both sat up at the same time. They grabbed Indra as she was already on her way to the ground. She was fighting death, like she had always done. Octavia hold her head and he laid his hand on her arm. He tried to talk to her.  
“Indra, it’s alright. We’re here. Indra.”  
Her eyes were searching for something to hold on but eventually, she had to give up. She had to give in and life got sucked out of her the same way as it had happened just minutes before. She was gone. Both couldn’t speak, their friend had passed but grief wasn’t an option this time. He would have enough time to grieve. Wherever he was going. He wiped his tears away, grabbed the radio and gave it to Octavia.  
“I think it’s time.”  
Through empty eyes she looked at him. Then she snorted and started to grin bitterly.  
“It was all for nothing.”  
He reached out for her shoulder.  
“No, it wasn’t. You were the one who fought honorable. You won. And I’m proud of that. And I know someone down there who is too. And he deserves to speak to you for-”  
He stopped, he didn’t need to tell her the rest. She understood. Her expression saddened and she nodded. With one hand she pushed the speaking button on the radio, with the other she grabbed his hand on her shoulder and placed it between them. They wouldn’t let go of each other, not now.  
“Bellamy? Stay safe.”  
Marcus could feel his breathing becoming more difficult, so he didn’t let Bellamy respond.  
“And take care of each other. Both of you.”  
He could feel the blood making its way through his lungs. It would be over in a minute. Bellamy was the first one who responded.  
“We will.”  
“Yes, we will. And Marcus, I love you. I love you and nothing will ever change that.”  
He started to cough. Everything went blurry, he felt like he was losing ground. Two hands grabbed his shoulders and without doing anything, he lied on his side, his head lying in Octavia’s lap. He couldn’t breathe. He had wanted to respond to her words, he had wanted to tell her he would never stop loving her either.  
“Kane. Shh, it’s okay. You’re going to be alright, Kane. I’m with you.”  
He slowly started to relax. This was it. This was death. He couldn’t forget them, he didn’t want to. In his last seconds, he tried to remember all the people who were most important to him. His own little family. While the faces of his mother, Indra, Bellamy, Octavia and Abby were flashing before his eyes, he closed them. And as he was floating away, he tried to hold on to the most beautiful picture of them all, the picture of the person death couldn’t part him from. Abby.

-

Silence. They both stared at the radio and nothing came through, just silence. The sound of death filled the room.  
“I’m sorry.”  
Bellamy closed his eyes as his sisters voice reached them. He was dead. The feel of his skin beneath her hand, his beard scratching her cheek, his hands holding her, his warmth beneath the blanket, all gone. He would never talk to her again. There was no smile which could cheer her up now, no eyes which would speak to hers, no man who would love her as much as she loved him. He was gone.  
“Octavia, you’re not alone. I’m with you.”  
“I know. May we meet again.”

-

She sat there, with Kane in her lap. Maybe it wasn’t as bad as it sounded. Death. Maybe it was better than constantly fighting for your survival. Maybe it was the piece of heaven no one talked about. She crawled a few inches back, placed Kane’s head carefully on the ground and lied herself down next to him. With blood filling her lungs, she grabbed his hand and closed her eyes. She was ready.

-

“O? O, can you hear me?”  
No answer. He let go of the radio and looked at Abby. She stood next to him, looking back at him. Or more through him. She was in her own little world, the save haven in her head, the place she could always go to when her life was falling apart. But somehow, this part of her was collapsing with the world above her. They had come so far. And he had been the reason for that. With him dead, everything she had hold on to was gone. The hope she always had- gone. She felt empty, as if someone had pulled out her heart and had ripped it apart. And the person who would’ve found it, put it together and carefully placed it where it belonged was gone. And he would never come back. Two strong arms pulled her gently into a hug. She had begun to cry without even noticing it. Was that how she would live her life from now on? Dead inside? She knew she had promised him to do nothing dangerous. She would try, for him. But she also knew herself good enough to know better. However, this could wait. This moment was meant for him. And Octavia. And Indra, Gaia and all the people who had to burn in Praimfaya because of Skaikru. Because of the decision of two people who called themselves their leaders. Her hair got more wet with every new tear Bellamy shed. Letting go of her thoughts, she buried her face into Bellamy’s shoulder.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> I hope you liked it. Feedback is as always very much appreciated!


End file.
